The Dosfish :

Long ago, in the days when all disks flopped in the breeze and the writing of words was
on a star, the Blue Giant dug for the people the Pea Sea. But he needed a creature who
could sail the waters, and would need for support but few rams.

So the Gateskeeper, who was said to be both micro and soft, fashioned a Dosfish, who
was small and spry, and could swim the narrow sixteen-bit channel. But the Dosfish was
not bright, and could be taught but few tricks. His alphabet had no A's, B's, or Q's,
but a mere 640 K's, and the size of his file cabinet was limited by his own fat.

At first the people loved the Dosfish, for he was the only one who could swim the Pea Sea.
But the people soon grew tired of commanding his line. And complained that he could
neither be dragged or dropped. "Forsooth", they cried, "the Dosfish can do only one job at
a time, and of names he knows only eight and three." And many of them left the Pea Sea
for good, and went off in search of the Magic Apple.

Although many went, far more stayed, because admittance to the Pea Sea was cheap.
So the Gateskeeper studied the Magic Apple, and rested awile in the Parc of the Xer Ox.
And he made a Window that could ride on the Dosfish, and do its thinking for it.
But the Window was slow, and it would break when the Dosfish got confused. So most
people contented themselves with the Dosfish.

Now it came to pass that the Blue Giant came upon the Gateskeeper, and spoke thus:
"Come, let us make of ourselves something greater than the Dosfish." The Blue Giant
seemed like a humbug, so they called the new creature Oz II.

Now Oz II was smarter than the Dosfish, as most things are. It could drag and drop, and
could keep files without becoming fat. But the people cared for it not. So the Blue Giant
and the Gateskeeper promised another Oz II, to be called Oz II Too, that could swim fast in
the new, 32-bit wide Pea Sea.

Then lo, a strange miracle occurred. Although the Window that rode on the Dosfish was
slow, it was pretty, and the third window was the prettiest of all. And the people began
to like the third window, and to use it. So the Gateskeeper turned to the Blue Giant and
said "Fie on thee, for I need thee not. Keep thy Oz II Too, and I shall make of my Window
an Entity that will not need the Dosfish, and will swim in the 32-bit Pea Sea."

Years passed, and the workshops of the Gateskeeper and the Blue Giant were many times
overrun by insects. And the people went on using their Dosfish with a Window; even though
the Dosfish would from time to time become confused and die, it could always be revived
with three fingers. Then there came a day when the Blue Giant let forth his Oz II Too onto
the world. The Oz II Too was indeed mighty, and awesome, and required a great ram, and the
world was changed not a whit. For the people said "It is indeed great, but we see little
application for it." And they were doubtful, because the Blue Giant had met with the Magic
Apple, and together they were fashioning a Taligent, and the Taligent was made of objects,
and was most pink.

Now the Gateskeeper had grown ambitious, and as he had been ambitious before he grew,
he was now more ambitious still. So he protected his Window Entity with great security,
and made its net work both in serving and with peers. And the Entity would swim, not in
the Pea Sea, but also in the Oceans of Great Risk. "Yea," the Gateskeeper declared,
"though my Entity will require a greater ram than Oz II Too, it will be more powerful than
a world of Eunuchs.

And so the gateskeeper prepared to unleash his Entity to the world, in all but two cities.
For he promised that a greater Window, a greater Entity, and even a greater Dosfish would
appear one day in Chicago and Cairo, and it too would be built of objects.

Now the Eunuchs who lived in the Oceans of Great Risk, and who scorned the Pea Sea,
began to look upon their world with fear. For the Pea Sea had grown and great ships were
sailing in it, the Entity was about to invade their Oceans, and it was rumored that files
would be named in letters greater than eight. And the Eunuchs looked upon the Pea Sea,
and many of them thought to immigrate.

Within the Oceans of Great Risk were many Sun Worshippers, and they had wanted to
excel, and make their words perfect, and do their jobs as easy as one-two-three.
And what's more, many of them no longer wanted to pay for the Risk. So the Sun Lord
went to the Pea Sea, and got himself eighty-sixed.

And taking the next step was he of the NextStep, who had given up building his boxes of
black. And he proclaimed loudly that he could help anyone make wondrous soft wares,
then admitted meekly that only those who know him could use those wares, and he was
made of objects, and required the biggest ram of all.

And the people looked out upon the Pea Sea, and they were sore amazed. And sore
confused. And sore sore. And that is why, to this day, Ozes, Entities, and Eunuchs
battle on the shores of the Pea Sea, but the people still travel on the simple Dosfish.

Now it came to pass that workshops of the Gateskeeper fashioned a new Idol in the
image of Himself, and named it Oh-Lay The Second. And there was much excitement
amongst the Tribes of Developers, for they gazed upon the Specification and saw
that it was Good, and Well Considered and not cursed with the blight of the Kludge.

But even the Miracles of the Oh-Lay The Second were not enough for the Masters of
the Gateskeeper, for it came to pass that the language of the Macro had been Reviled,
and Stoned, and publically Humiliated, especially amongst the tribes of the Corporate.

So the Gateskeeper commanded the workshops to deliver unto the Tribes of the
Corporates a new Wonder, and named it Comman Macro Language. They called it
a Basic of Object Overtones. And then, lest this confuse the Tribe of the Corporate,
named it for the third time as the Basically Visual of the Applications Kind.

But the Tribe of Upstarts known as the Reviewers looked down upon the new Miracles
of the Applications, and cast scorn upon them, saying "Verily thou has Failed. Thine
new Shiny Applications are not blessed with the new Wonder, except for the System
Terminator known as the Excel Five, which is Riddled with the Blight of the Bug."

And then the Tribe of Reviewers examined the new Wonder in closer detail, and found
too that it was cursed with the Blight of the Incompatible Syntax. They shouted "But
the workers of the Gateskeeper told us it was Compatible, and The Same, and Wonderous.
The Application named Word is inflicted with the Kludge known amongst the Land as
WordBasic in its Third Incarnation, and this is not Good Enough.

The High Priests of the Gateskeeper replied, crying "Verily we are Getting There, but it
will take more Time." And the Tribe of the Reviewers replied, saying "Thou hast had
enough Time, there is little left in the Coffers of Credibility.

And Lo, the High Priests of the Gateskeeper replied "But you ignoreth our Best Wonder
Of All, the Miracle of the IntelliSense." And the Tribe of the Reviewers cast scorn upon
the High Priests, and called for a Public Stoning, crying "That is nothing but the influence
of The Devil Himself, known in the Lands of the Journalists as The Marketing Bullshit.

And the Tribes of the Journalists and Corporates looked upon the Garden of the Lotus to
see if more promising flowers were growing therein.....




Note : original author unknown to me.

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